Notes from now

Hello there, 29. 

From everything I have just started learning through spiritual guidance, looking back or forward do not lead to fulfillment or joy. (I'd normally use the word "happiness" there, but I'm learning that happiness and joy come from two very different places. Happiness is dependent on outside factors, while joy always comes from within.) Going into my 29th year with this understanding feels like I just discovered a winning lottery ticket. A key to a whole new world...

That being said, I have found myself working towards a new awareness, one where I am not living in or for any moment but the present. This. Takes. Work.

As I start this next trip around the sun, I am overcome with the strongest urge and need to explore the depths of my soul, my spirit, my being. I have spent so much time waiting and wishing for things that I am just now realizing have been within me all along. And it's time, to uncover it all and to live in it.

A dear friend of mine who has been guiding me on this new journey shared a message that sums up pretty much everything: "The ego says, once everything falls into place, I will find peace." "The spirit says, find peace and everything will fall into place."

I have lived my entire life listening to my "ego," putting all my hope into the thought of people or places or things leading me to a happily ever after. I put all my hope into "one day," and complacently and safely accepted that as life. It isn't until now that I am realizing that one day can be today. It can be this very moment, that's up to me.

So as I enter this next year of life, I don't want to look into the past with longing, or the future with my fingers crossed. I want to manifest what's within me now, and know it'll guide me to where I need to be.

Although I am making a conscious effort to focus more on my now, I feel that reflecting on what I've learned in my 28th year, and what I want to focus on in my 29th, are healthy reasons to look back or forward.

Notes to my 28-year-old self:

Be who you are. Surround yourself with the people who make you feel they're a better person for knowing you.

Do not wait another minute when it comes to your dreams. There are a million reasons something won't work, but if you believe in it enough to see it through, you'll be astounded at what doors will start to swing wide open. Do not diminish your dream because you worry that someone can do it better. Maybe someone can, but your dream is yours, and for that reason it's every bit as deserving of a chance.

The only way to grow is outside your comforts. The only way. Keep doing the same things and you will see the same results.

Accept others as they are, do not try to change people. People change when and if they want to, on their own terms. People change for themselves when they're ready.

Follow your intuition. It knows the way.

Notes to my 29-year-old self:

Sprinkle a little love everywhere you go.

Focus on mind and body health. Every answer you've ever been in search of is there.

Seek out the things that make your soul shine, and fill your world with these things.

Stay true to you and your purpose. It will attract the right people, and those people will stay.

Give yourself grace.

Be resilient.

You are whole and have everything within you already that you will ever need.

Dream big and then dream even bigger. Tackle that dream to the ground today and everyday.

Never stop following your heart. Even if it ends up breaking, it'll mend and be 10x stronger than before.

Be fully present in everything you do.

Be open to adjusting your plan along the way.

Revisit past fears and see if they're still relevant. (hint: they aren't.)

Know that everything happens for a reason. If you don't see it now, you will.

Look for shining stars in dark moments, and believe in the wishes you make on them.

Decide what the dream version of yourself looks like and remember you don't have to wait to be that person.

Remind yourself daily that the journey is the destination. The beauty is in the attempt.

Look around you. This was your past's shining dream. It was all you could think of one day and you made it happen and now you are living your dream. What you have is more than enough already. 

- Golden Girl